Introduction – Living as My Authentic Self

Let’s be honest, trying to live as your authentic self can feel exhausting when everyone else has an opinion. If I’m going to write about authenticity, I have to keep it 100% real—no censoring or over-editing here.

This post is my unfiltered, messy journey based on my own experiences. For years, I struggled with people-pleasing, but I eventually learned to put myself first. I’m sharing the three key changes I actively made to finally stop seeking external validation and start living for me. (Quick disclaimer: use your sensible judgement, obviously).

I Stopped Caring About What Other People Think

This isn’t about being vindictive or intentionally difficult. It’s about not letting outside noise block your happiness. I used to adore certain fashion styles but quit wearing them the second someone called them ‘ugly.’

Worse still, I completely ditched huge parts of my personality—things that truly sparked joy, like tarot card readings, dance music, and my beloved Vans shoes—simply because others didn’t approve. It felt like I was shrinking my world just to fit into theirs.

It’s taken me years, but since starting my actual life (post school, uni and those awkward days in early employment), I’m slowly rediscovering all those interests. It feels like coming home. In short, what anyone else thinks about my tarot cards or trainers is absolutely irrelevant now.

I Started Celebrating Myself

If you looked around my office, you’d see it’s covered in photos, framed certificates, and awards I’m genuinely proud of. A lot of people have remarked that it’s ‘weird’ or even ‘self-obsessed’. My response? If I can’t enjoy highlights from my own life in my own office, where on earth can I do it?

I firmly believe everyone should have a designated spot—whether it’s a page in a journal or a physical space in your home, like my wall—where they can display and enjoy things they’re proud of. Personally, seeing these things keeps me grounded in who I truly am, regardless of whatever chaos is happening externally.

And it’s not all about ‘achievements,’ either. In my office, I also have a large picture of my cats, a self-portrait I did years ago, and my prom photo with Mike. Plus, tiny paintings from an artist my Nan brought back from her holidays. Reading about the Konmari method a few years ago really stuck with me: surrounding myself with things that bring joy was a huge takeaway. This wall is my daily, visual reminder that I am enough and I have things worth celebrating.

I Started Making My Own Decisions

One day, the realisation hit me hard: I should not be living my life just to keep other people happy.

I’m not saying we should all be selfish monsters who ignore the needs of others. Of course, there are boundaries—we can’t just do whatever we want, especially if it actively harms people. But I kept catching myself making decisions that put me in a worse position, even though choosing the alternative wouldn’t have caused any genuine issues for anyone else.

I remember stopping sharing my writing online for a while because some people simply hated that I was getting attention for it. I genuinely believed that if I stopped blogging, I’d magically gain more friends. Spoiler alert: absolutely nothing changed in that regard, but I lost out on a hobby that was personally fulfilling.

In 2020, I finally drew a line in the sand. I made the conscious decision to start making choices that genuinely benefitted me (as long as they didn’t hurt anyone else). So far, it has turned out remarkably well, and I’m really happy to be sharing my writing again after so many years.

Conclusion

Reclaiming your authentic self isn’t about suddenly changing who you are; it’s about shedding the layers of external expectation. It means establishing firm boundaries, celebrating your true joys, and trusting your own judgement. It’s a long journey, but stopping the toxic cycle of seeking external approval is the most vital first step.

Have you taken any steps to begin living more authentically? Do you have any tips to consider? Let me know in the comments below!