Introduction

A lot of people have misconceptions about the fertility awareness method (FAM). Some believe it’s totally ineffective as a birth control method, others say it’s too complicated to navigate while some even say it has a negative effect on relationships. To expand on the final comment, I decided to interview my partner to find out what he really thinks about our FAM practice as a couple. For context, I use the Symptothermal method of FAM, which involves charting my basal body temperature, cervical mucus and optionally, cervical position. I then apply rules (as laid out by NFPTA, the school I trained to become a FAM educator with) to evaluate when it’s possible for me to conceive or not. From there, we make decisions on when it’s appropriate to be intimate according to our family planning goals (currently avoiding pregnancy).

The Interview

Before I introduced you to FAM as we know it, did you know anything about cycle tracking for preventing pregnancy? 

I only knew about the rhythm method. The rhythm method overshadows FAM negatively so when I first heard about FAM, I assumed it was the same or similar. I now know that practising fertility awareness has so much more to it and, in reality, FAM is just an umbrella term for a group of different methods, ranging in efficacy and complexity.

When I first expressed that I wanted to come off the pill to pursue FAM, what were your initial thoughts?

I wasn’t bothered. The pill can be unhealthy in itself [for those with particular medical backgrounds] but also you seemed to be different as a person while on it in terms of your personality. Coming away from that meant that you were not putting unnecessary stuff into your body but it also allowed you to choose the method you wanted to do in the sense of it aligning more with your values of avoiding too many chemicals.

What impact do you believe practising FAM has had on our relationship?

A positive one if anything. I feel that FAM gives a new level of appreciation for our bodies and makes a relationship stronger. It also helps us to rethink what it means to be intimate.

Has the subject of FAM ever come up with friends? What were their thoughts or reactions?

It’s briefly been mentioned in conversation, but no one has ever asked me to elaborate on it. I’m not sure if people have fully understood what it is though as there really isn’t much quality information out there about FAM methods which is a shame.

A common idea about FAM is that it takes the fun and spontaneity out of a relationship. What are your comments on this?

It can obviously take the spontaneity out of sex itself, but there are more ways to be intimate with a partner. If anything, using FAM encourages you to be creative in the ways you interact with your partner.

Other Male Opinions on Fertility Charting

Out of curiosity, I decided to ask other males the question of “what would you think of a woman who was choosing to stop using traditional contraceptives in favour of fertility charting?” and “how do you feel fertility charting would affect a relationship/sex life?”. This is what they said:

“I don’t know much about fertility charting but I don’t think it should affect relationship intimacy. I think it would make the experience more enjoyable – more passionate if that makes sense in the way of waiting for when your partner is not in [the fertile time of her] cycle. It’s a lot safer on the body than taking the pill which I know messes with a lot of women’s health and mental health.”

Male no.1’s opinion

“If I had a partner who wanted to try fertility awareness, I’d honestly be okay with it as long as there was proper reseach and both of us knew exactly what we were getting into. I’d be chill with a “sex cycle” – it’d make waiting for it more exiting for sure and it’s not like we can’t have sex in other ways.”

Male no.2’s opinion

Do you practice a fertility awareness based method? How does it impact your relationship? Comment down below!