Why FAM Doesn’t Work [5 Key Reasons Why Natural Birth Control Fails]

The Subject of Why FAM Doesn’t Work (For Some People)

Ever since I started practising the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), I always heard people saying that it doesn’t work, or, that they unintentionally became pregnant when using it for birth control purposes. While I’m always the first person to say that everything has a failure rate, in my mind, there seemed to be an extremely high number of people with something negative to say about their experience with FAM when efficacy ratings appeared quite decent in my opinion. After years of using it as well as certifying to teach FAM, I wanted to talk about the main reasons I believe natural birth control doesn’t work for some people. This post is not intended to offend anyone but more to educate those who are curious or confused by the bad reputation FAM sometimes gets. While this is not an exhaustive post, these are just some of the things I commonly see in online FAM communities.

It’s a Motivation-Based Method

FAM is motivation based. It isn’t the same as taking a pill each day or getting an injection on time. It relies on your decision-making abilities day to day and using the information relating to your chosen method rules. I often see people saying that they experienced an unplanned pregnancy and, on closer investigation, they mention that they had intercourse on a day that they knew was unsafe in terms of their intentions.

Over-Reliance on Barrier Methods 

Many people make the decision to either use barrier methods during the fertile window or abstain from genital contact altogether. When deciding to use barriers during the fertile window, it should be kept in mind that, at that time, you can only assume the efficacy level of whichever barrier method you choose – if you’re not confident in this, abstinence might be a better option.

I also frequently see people saying that their barrier method failed due to incorrect use so, if unsure, seek advice from a quality information source on how to use your chosen barrier method according to ‘perfect use’. A quality information source might mean the doctor who prescribed you the barrier method in the context of diaphragms or caps, the instructions provided in things like condom packets or online information from the NHS or organisation relevant to your country.

Partner Isn’t on Board

People often say that they had miscommunications with their partner during a sexual encounter because they didn’t understand or aren’t on board with FAM. For me, it’s always been extremely important that my partner not only appreciates and understands why we’re practising FAM but also that he understands the basics of the rules. In my opinion, this not only gives him a greater level of comfort just from understanding but it also means he has the background information when I say we’re not out of the fertile window yet or that my fertile window is approaching. 

Not Understanding (Or Following) the Rules

I’m constantly telling people that the best way to learn a FAM method is via an instructor. That way, you not only receive lessons on all of the rules you need to know but you also have a chance to ask any questions you might have. Unfortunately, many people say FAM doesn’t work but, it later comes to light that they were not using an approved set of rules at all – either a cherry-picking of rules they did understand from books or forums or not following rules at all and basing things on guesses/assumptions. 

Using an Outdated or Lower Efficacy Method

Fertility Awareness is an umbrella term. This means that there are a large number of different sets of rules, approaches and efficacy levels within this. Some methods are newer while some are older, some are based on more robust research compared with others. Given this, it would be unfair to say that all FAMs are a bad idea when the person saying this may have unfortunately used a method with a much lower efficacy than another. Some methods have also updated their rules over time to remain up to date with the latest in reproductive science – this means that a modern FAM may not be the same as something your relative used many years ago.

Do you use a Fertility Awareness Method? Have you ever had people warn you that it isn’t effective? Comment your experience below!