FAM is a topic that tends to divide people. Whether it be on the core essence of what it is – giving people the ability to plan or prevent pregnancy by observing their bodies – or specific details of it, many have something to comment on. In this post, I want to explore and comment on the most common and/or controversial unpopular opinions I’ve heard over several years in the FAM community. 

As a disclaimer, I want to make it clear that this post is in no way intended to offend anyone – everyone has a unique lifestyle, and everyone has their own thoughts and opinions (including myself) which others are welcome to politely agree or disagree with. I also want to explicitly say that this article should not be treated as instructions for someone’s own FAM practice, it is simply my own commentary.

FAM Isn’t for Everyone

This is a subject I feel like I’ve talked about more so in my everyday life rather than online. Usually, I simply use this statement as a reminder that I respect that not everyone has the time, patience or resources to learn a FAM method. Separately from this, some people may not have the slightest interest in it – and that’s ok! Unfortunately, I think many members of large online FAM communities can misplace their passion for the subject which then could be interpreted as downplaying other people’s choices. Personally, I’ve always acknowledged that birth control is a very personal subject, and everyone has their own reasons for making different choices.

You Don’t Have to Be 100% Committed All of The Time (If You Belong To A Particular Group)

This subject is geared towards those who are charting for health. In my opinion, provided you fully understand that cutting corners within your chosen method could reduce efficacy if you did choose to become sexually active, it doesn’t automatically mean you are no longer welcome in the FAM space. Often, those who self-identify as ‘charting for health’ might not be in a relationship or be with someone who has had a vesectomy, therefore the motivation to chart in such a strict manner might decrease. As an example, if you’re only charting to find out when your period will come as opposed to any birth control-related calculations, a minimal charting style might be an ideal compromise and would be extremely valuable to that person.

You Don’t Need a Specific Lifestyle to Practice The Fertility Awareness Method

I recall feeling extremely deflated in my early days of practicing FAM. Almost every online forum stated I needed to turn my life upside down – never drink alcohol again, only eat organic foods, eat high levels of saturated fat, practice breathwork daily, give up make up and spend most of my day outdoors. These were just a few examples people would stipulate as essentials for hormonal wellbeing, without it ‘you’ll never have a healthy cycle’ they’d say. Straight away, I recognized that some weren’t based on medical advice I was comfortable trusting (such as filling my diet with an extremely high amount of butter and red meat), or they were just completely incompatible with my life here in Wales. Outside of blogging, I work a fulltime desk-based job – between the weather here and my need to keep a roof over my head, there was no way I could just quit my job to go live in the hills where I could prance through meadows every day, all in the name of hormonal health. Of course, many things do impact menstrual health positively, such as maintaining a healthy, balanced lifestyle but I still feel genuine concern about the amount of people some FAM community lifestyle advice may put off when, in my opinion, it doesn’t have a night and day influence on whether someone is able to chart or not. Personally, I believe that if someone is interested in charting, they should give it a try and see what happens (while taking any necessary precaution to prevent pregnancy if this is the goal). If troubleshooting is needed then that’s something to explore but if not, great. I don’t believe prospective FAM users need to give up the lifestyle they’ve chosen for themselves just to fit in with this community.

FAM Isn’t Anti-Medicine

I’ll keep this short and simple in that, unfortunately, many assume that FAM users are completely against Western medicine. I believe this opinion may have stemmed from the fact that many join the FAM community following negative experiences with hormonal birth control that was provided to them by a doctor. However, I’d argue that this doesn’t automatically place those individuals into the group of not supporting Western medicine. Of course, there are some people, as within any group, which don’t support it but, for the most part, FAM users have a ‘normal’ relationship with things like visiting their GP or using over the counter medicines when unwell.

FAM Instructors Deserve Fair Compensation

I wasn’t sure how to approach this subject as it can be a topic of strong emotions. As a qualified FAM instructor myself, I found myself in the difficult position of not being able to continue the FAM teaching side of my business (it was originally a part of my old business, House of Callaway but I closed down this aspect, long before the business closed as a whole). It was for the simple reason that people were unwilling to pay for such a service in the UK – a place here doctors’ appointments and birth control is free. Despite wanting to continue teaching others, it was financially draining me to continue offering it as a service. I’ve heard similar stories from instructors around the world – in countries where healthcare is paid, the general issue is a lack of trust as opposed to cost. Prospective clients would rather pay for birth control from their doctor because it feels like the ‘safer’ choice rather than something they are only just learning about.

I believe instructors should be paid a wage for their services that allows them to cover their training costs (which can run into the thousands for some programmes) as well as the cost of their time and any ongoing expenses (travelling to clients, website and advertising costs, insurance costs etc.). The difficulty, however, is that I also believe clients should be able to pay a price that is both fair and accessible to them. Of course, we could get into specific solution ideas like sliding scales, instructors offering voluntary time or subsidies but, in my own mind, I’m not sure what would work overall, and I generally find this subject incredibly difficult to formulate a final opinion on.

Final Thoughts

FAM, like any method, comes with varied perspectives and opinions. While some see it as a lifestyle change or a symbol of resistance to mainstream healthcare, others embrace it more flexibly. It’s important to remember that FAM is a personal choice, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Whether you’re deeply committed for birth control or using it casually, just charting for health, and regardless of your views on medicine or lifestyle, the key is that FAM should empower people to make informed decisions about their bodies. As long as it remains accessible and inclusive, the FAM community can continue to grow and support diverse needs.